04.05.16 - Life Thoughts
I can see how your view on something can change through the years now. Now that I moved out the warehouse and onto managing big commercial projects I am slowly starting to forget how it feels to be on the opposite end of the spectrum. For example, when it comes to our warehouse guys. These guys work so damn hard and are just trying to make it like the rest of us. We will have them drive to one site 2 hours away. They get there and we just tell them “oh, never mind”. Run somewhere else and grab something else and come back. I used to always say thank you and sorry for the inconvenience. After a few years in, I realize I have dropped the saying of sorry to them and leave a simple "thanks". Like I have forgot they are humans too. They have families to get home to and it's like it doesn't matter. I don't ever want to forget what it is like. What is most important to me now is school, paying for school, and paying bills while in school. This has been a great struggle and I don't want to forget how hard it is. I need to remember. This is a hard time. They have financial aide but I am stuck between a rock in a hard place. I need security financially. I feel the pressure to work so I can obtain that security and rely on myself. But the downfall to this is the more I make the less I get in financial aide for school. I don't think this should work this way. I think it should be based of the school costs as well as a more in depth look at the persons financial records. Not just a single gross income number. So now I am stuck for the last five years working my tail off to make due since I have no financial aide and am going to school full time. I get about 5-6 hours of sleep every night and at times constantly working though the entire night. In classes, between class and in my sleep. Remember the struggle. I don't want to sound like it all bad. I have accomplished a lot this way. Pushing myself to the limit like this. Shows me what I can accomplish. What any human can accomplish. Pushing people to the limit gets results.